“I'd never been canoeing before. I'd gone white water rafting and tubing, but somehow I'd never checked "canoeing" off my to do list.
"It's easy. Just paddle when I say paddle. I'll steer and take care of the rest."
For a self declared control freak, the idea of letting someone else take the wheel (or oar in this case) was unsettling, but we were newlyweds and with friends, so I decided to give "going with the flow" a try. (Pun fully intended.)
Much to my surprise, it came easily. It was a beautiful day, the river was calm, and the conversation was flowing. Of course, that wasn't the only thing flowing. Seeing how I don't prefer beer, my husband had thoughtfully picked me up a mini six pack of what I call "adult juice boxes". A funny thing happens when you put alcohol into small, cute packaging though- one has the tendency to lose track of just how much they have consumed. Especially when said juice boxes are cold and taste like church punch.
A couple of hours into the trip we hit what my husband, J., called "the fun part." We turned the corner and in front of me I saw what can only be described as a hazardous collection of rocks and turbulent rapids that were going to be the end of me. (The fact that it couldn't be too dangerous given there were people lazily floating past in inner tubes didn't matter to me. Those people were obviously tubing experts. Or fools. Or both.) As we floated into the first rapids, I could feel my heart racing as I thought back to what J had said earlier that morning- "just paddle when I say paddle. I'll steer and take care of the rest."
"WHY AREN'T YOU PADDLING? TURN RIGHT!"
Obviously J. had forgotten the two things he had told me. One, he was to instruct me exactly when to paddle and two, he was in charge of steering.
I plunged my oar into the water, but it was too late. We hit a rock, tipped, and water quickly began filling up the canoe.
J. floated past me in his life jacket, joyful and laughing without a care in the world, while I found myself standing on a rock in the middle of the river, over-served and in a bikini, holding onto a sinking canoe. Did I happen to mention that there was a viewing platform over this section of the river and we were entertaining a large crowd of onlookers at that moment? No? Well there was and we were.
Some people argue that the key to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms, but for us it's individual kayaks- which we ordered as soon as we got home.”
-Courtney Khail