Other Musings

Friday already...

via personal collection

How is it already Friday? Don't get me wrong, I'm more than thrilled that it's the weekend, I just can't believe it's already here! And as you all can see, I haven't been around here much, but for good reason- I've been really busy getting some things together for the business. Luckily, I've also been very busy with a lot of fun. A couple fun highlights-

1. The hubs and I hiked the Tallulah Gorge yesterday. You have to get there early enough to get a permit (only 100 a day) but then you're good to go. I wasn't expecting to be challenged as much as I was, but as soon as we climbed down some 300 steep metal stairs and saw that we had to climb (slide, fall, whatever.) down a slippery granite wall and then cross a river to start the hike, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Sure enough, the whole hike consisted of climbing over boulders, straddling crevices, and relying heavily on your arms to pull you up from boulder to boulder. (But the scenery was gorgeous!) At the end though you come to a waterfall that has worn the rock down so much that it's just one huge slide. One huge really fun slide that dumps you out into a swimming hole! After lunch (and a lot of trips down the fall) we started to hear thunder and knew we needed to get out of the gorge and started hiking back. By the time we got back to the river crossing it was raining- making the granite wall we had to scale up in order to get out incredibly slick. Luckily, thanks to determination and teamwork we got out. And then had to climb another 300 metal stairs. I was expecting my legs to be so sore today, but surprisingly, it's my arms that are sore. Apparently I don't work them out that much!

2. I got to meet Ashley Meaders at a Scoutmob party! She's super sweet (as I bet anyone could have guessed) and it was really great getting to talk with "one of my peers." Granted, I kind of felt a little stalkerish/starstruck given that I am a huge fan of her work and therefore knew all about her portfolio. It was kind of surreal being recognized by her too though  "Courtney Khail? I've seen your stuff on Once Wed!" (but then again anytime someone knows my name/work before they actually know me catches me a little off guard and reminds me exactly how fast my little invitation company is growing!)

3. Not really a fun highlight, but worth mentioning. Apparently someone thought my blog was cool enough to embed a virus in it. Luckily (from what I've heard) no one was infected and thanks to my friend (and site designer) Neil, it's fixed. So if you happened to get a warning the last time you came to the site, I am so sorry (!) but everything is better now so no worries.

So back to work now. I hope everyone had a wonderful week as well and that your weekend is just as fantastic!!

wrap up

today seems like a perfect day for this. via oh happy day

Given that this week has been a little light on posting, I thought I'd just give you some fun things to look at or read. (You're welcome, procrastinators!) I hope everyone has a lovely lovely weekend full of fun and relaxation! (And to my friend K. I will be thinking about you as you are writing papers and taking exams. You will rock them!)

Oh, and a big thank you to Kathleen for your support last week. You are so sweet!

On to the links:

1. I'm a big fan of French style- from the fashion to the overall vibe. Some call it snooty, I call it fabulous. Either way, you can't deny the fact that for the most part, the women are beautiful in a "I really was born like this" kind of way. Read their take on aging gracefully here. Something I learned that is completely unrelated? They find it rude to use the bathroom in someone else's home. Who would have known?

2. Did you read about the 18th century ship found under the World Trade Center site? So cool!

3. Speaking of the French, how about having this little lovely pull up to your home in the morning? Hello elliptical.

4. I need this chandelier. Too bad it's $18k.

5. J. and I are already planning out cross country camping trip and given that "my blood is sweet" (uh huh.) and attracts mosquitoes from EVERYWHERE I might want to invest in some of these bracelets.

6.I have to try my hand at this invitation, using these mini balloons.

Happy weekend everyone!

getting personal

There is a fine line between making a blog personal and still maintaining your privacy, and today I was faced with that. On one hand, I look at this blog as a way to connect with all of you. For my clients to get to know me beyond what I create. It started off on a blogging platform and was called “Joy in the Little Things” because I wanted to show all of the little things that inspired me, that I found beautiful, and just the little bits and pieces of knowledge I’ve picked up a long the way. I also enjoyed the fact that it was “diary-like” in that I could write about things that had happened- almost in a memoir-esque kind of way. It was a way to preserve my memories, especially since I am horrible at writing in a journal. (I have like 10 started, but after one or two entries, I get bored with it and just stop.) But even with sharing my memories and “little joys” with all of you, there are of course boundaries. Some things are kept private. Sometimes because I didn’t feel like being judged, sometimes because they are just too personal, and sometimes just because they are probably too boring for you all. So instead of sharing what was happening, or how I felt about something (whether huge, like politics, or something small, like why women feel it’s appropriate to wear lingerie as clothing) I would just find something else to talk about. Something lighter, funnier, or beautiful. And today, I tried to do that again. I tried to sit down and come up with something that was different-happier than what was on my mind. But I couldn’t. I can’t. So I figured today, I’d just share.

Last night I found out that my grandmother has vascular dementia. Although it’s mostly little cognitive things right now, slowly she will start to forget or get confused by how to do simple tasks, and later she will most likely begin to lose her memories and quite possibly forget who we are.

And no matter how I try to think of it, it breaks my heart. For those of you who have been reading for a while, you’ll know that my grandfather died almost 5 years ago of lung cancer. He and my grandmother were the complete embodiment of soul mates, so having to watch him slowly die about killed her. Now, the thing that keeps her strong, that she cherishes and holds on, are the memories the two of them shared together. When you’re with her she’s always full of thousands of stories. Getting in trouble in college, growing up during the Great Depression (we had butter though because my mother owned a cow!), how my grandparents met (on a blind date which she tried to get out of) their backyard wedding (her mom hand made her lace dress), where their first apartment was (and that rent was $35 a month), all the places they’d traveled together (more places than not), memories from raising their 3 daughters, what drink my granddad preferred (bourbon and coke)… everything.

So to think of her losing those wrecks me. I would do anything to keep her from experiencing even a moment where she feels alone, lost, or confused, but sadly there is nothing any of us can do to stop that. All we can do is be there for her and try to make as many memories as we can together. And then I think about how all of us are going to be affected as well. My mom was telling me how she’s so scared of the day that she’s going to call and it won’t be “her mom” on the other line. She won’t be able to have a conversation with her. My grandmother might not even remember her. I can’t even imagine losing my mom. Having her there physically, but mentally missing all that makes her who she is.

So like most people who are faced with something terrifying or depressing, I’ve worked to focus my mind on other things- mainly cooking and cleaning. The kitchen is now filled with homemade marinara, salad dressings, comfort foods, and cookies. Hell I even bought mayonnaise just because I “had to make” this one recipe. Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate mayonnaise. Ugh. Can’t stand it. But there I was, scooping it out by the cupful because this one recipe called for it. Anything to take my mind off of dementia.

And once I ran out of counter space (doesn’t take too long in the apartment) I became obsessed with cleaning everything. And I mean really cleaning. Like organizing bookshelves kind of cleaning. And while I was cleaning under the couch (yep. you read that right.) I found a photo album that my grandmother gave us to fill with “our memories.”

And seeing the blank pages of the album I broke down, because it was just way too metaphorical for me.

So. There it is. The reason for the lack of “wednesday wisdom” and to be honest, the lack of posts for the rest of the week. I feel like I need to refocus on what’s really important and spend some time with my husband and my family. Promise I’ll be back on Monday though. I hope you all have a great rest of the week and a wonderful weekend.

And thanks for listening.

natures song

Have any of you seen the movie Failure to Launch? You know the crazy roommate (ms. zooey deschanel) and how she is battling an annoying bird that keeps on singing outside of their house? Yea. I feel just like her right now.

We have a (very loud annoying) bird in the tree next to our porch. Unfortunately, I think the little bird has decided to build a nest on top of our chimney (or very close to it) because it's "song" (more of a pigeon coo than a song in my opinion) is very clearly traveling down the chimney and into our living room.

Bella is sitting at the window staring at the tree with her head cocked to one side listening. Every time she hears it she shifts abrubtly- trying her hardest to find out exactly where/what it is.

To say the least, it's making work a little difficult.

How is everyone else's Tuesday going?

happy weekend!

via for me, for you

You didn't really think I'd end the week with a post about Dakota Fanning, did you? Good. I thought you knew me better.

Anyhow, aside from this lovely photo, I just wanted to wish all of you a wonderful weekend! I hope it's fantastic, comfortable (I haven't been outside since 8am and it was hot then) and full of fun. We have an engagement party this weekend, I'm going to try my hand at making these since I find the "real ones" to be horrible, might go out on the water to cool off, see my sis, and later, cheer on my hubs in a tournament he's playing in this weekend!

You all have any exciting plans?

it's so hot.

oh if only there was a breeze like this today! via design crush

You know those days when you truly feel like you are melting? Make up doesn't stand a chance, those first few seconds in a car feel like hell, and no matter how few clothes you have on, you still feel like you're suffocating? (If you don't, I'm guessing you do not live in Georgia and I am very envious of you right now...)

Well today is one of those days. And given that I am just now coming back to society after a two day long horrible migraine (might not get them often, but when I do, boy do they strike with a vengeance) the last thing my body wants to be faced with is unrelenting heat.

So in order to trick myself into loving the hot weather, I decided to write out the top 10 things I love about summers in the south:

1. lightning bugs

2. honeysuckle

3. pool days (though now it's almost too hot for that!)

4. ice cold lemonade (the real kind- made with simple syrup and fresh squeezed lemons)

5. sundresses

6. air conditioning

7. ice pops (I eat ice cream year round, but those "cut off the top" sugary concoctions are for the summer only!)

8. air dried hair

9. kayaking

10. fresh fruits/vegetables (berries, tomatoes, etc.)

Hmm. Always nice to remember the positives!

Even so, I'm off to work over the air conditioning vent. Happy Thursday everyone!

wednesday wisdom- the plus one dilemma

The “plus one” dilemma. There is a lot of controversy surrounding the idea of whether or not you should always receive a +1 with a wedding invitation so I thought I’d weigh in. Of course, since this is my blog I will be giving my personal option on the matter, but I am also going to try and explain the dilemma from the soon to be married couple’s side. Hopefully, this will give a little more perspective to those who haven’t had to deal with the wonderful world of guest lists. (Anyone pick up on that sarcasm? Good.)

Also, please remember that while I am focusing on weddings, this goes for any social celebration in which you received an invitation.

First, let’s go back about 5-8 months before you received the invitation. Imagine your friends- the newly engaged couple- sitting at a table with pen and paper ready. They’ve discussed what they hope their reception celebration will be and after working out the numbers they have decided on inviting 100 people. Max. (I picked 100 because that’s what we attempted to stick around.) Sounds like a lot right? I mean, think of your last birthday party. Most likely, 30ish people tops (well unless it was a milestone in which think of your last non-milestone birthday.)

So picture your happy friends jotting down the 100 nearest and dearest who will be in attendance. Enthusiastically, they start with family. Moms, Dads, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, and cousins- your friends are probably nearing 30-35 people.

ALMOST ONE THIRD OF THEIR GUEST LIST.

And it’s not that the happy couple doesn’t love their family, but they are just now realizing that 100 people aren’t as many people as they thought.

Now the slightly less enthusiastic couple starts listing out the “should be considered family” people. You know, the ones who helped raise them, the ones their families went on vacations with, the ones who they actually see when they visit their parents. Between the two of them, that’s probably another 30 people. Then they add the pastor/rabbi/person marrying them and their spouse/date. I mean, they are the ones who are making this whole shindig legal and common courtesy says they should be there to celebrate as well. We loved our pastors (yep. 2 of them.) and couldn’t imagine them not being there. (They were are our rehearsal dinner too!)

Anyhow, back to the head count. The now slightly tired couple has 67 people on their 100 person max guest list. No problem. That’s still 33 friend spaces.

Then the phone rings. It’s the bride’s grandmother. She heard that they were working on the guest list and was hoping that they could invite her sister (the bride’s great aunt) because it would mean so much to both of them. This is her grandmother asking. The woman who means so much to the bride, has never asked for anything besides for the couple to visit more, and here she is asking (politely) if her sister can come. “She probably won’t make it, but her and her husband might be able to, and the invitation would mean so much to them.” Did I mention the bride actually really loves her great aunt and uncle? How sweet and thoughtful they have always been to her? No? Well. They’re great people.

And did I mention the bride just received a surprise package the day before from her grandmother containing the handkerchiefs hand embroidered by the bride’s great grandmother for the bride’s “something borrowed?” Yep. That’s right. Her grandmother is an angel. A thoughtful angel who is only asking for 2 additional people.

They say of course (and thank you for the something borrowed, we promise we will visit soon!)

Total space left for friends: 31.

They add their wedding party to the list. Total friend places left- 23. Then they remember 2 are married, (21 spots left) and three of the girls are in serious relationships (18 spots left.)

They now have to discuss the +1 dilemma. They have 18 spots left for friends. That’s either 18 friends individually, or 9 friends and dates. The couple weighs the options and decides to write down everyone they’d “like” to invite and go from there.

50 friends are written down. Damn. That didn’t work.

Bride gets phone call from best friend. Her serious boyfriend can’t make it because his sister is getting married on the exact same day. Couple bummed. They love best friend’s beau. On the plus side though, 19 spots.

Hmm. Couple decides that since it’s an intimate wedding and that people will have friends there, unless they are in a serious relationship, they don’t get a “+1.”

Couple begins to feel horrible as they group their friends. (By grouping I mean, you can’t invite 4 sorority sisters from a group of 6 who are all still really close. Much like you can’t invite 2 of your 3 best friends from high school. Hence, grouping.) Then couple has to rank the groups. It’s a horrible feeling because couple loves all 50 friends and doesn’t want anyone to feel like the kid who didn’t get a friendship bracelet.

Groom-to-be brings a Kit Kat bar and a Coke to the bride when he sees her tearing up over having to “cut friends.” Couple looks at budget again and decides again, that yes, only 100 people are going to be invited.

Couple decides each of them gets 1 person that the other maybe hasn’t met (best friend moved away, etc) but the rest has to know BOTH of them well. In seconds, the 19 spots are gone, and there are still 10 people left off of the list that fit “in a group” of people who are invited.

Bride rationalizes that there is some statistic that says something like 10% of people won’t be able to make the wedding. Guest list is pushed up to 110 to include the 10 other friends. Even with the additions, 30ish friends still won’t get an invitation.

Couple is exhausted, emails guest list to parents, and goes to Dairy Queen to split a blizzard. Happily stuffed, but still a little sad and worn out, they decide to call it a night.

The next morning, calls start coming in from the families. Couple didn’t invite so and so’s best friend. What about parent’s work associates? Why do they get more people than we do? Can so and so also bring their high school aged children?  And so on.

Bride starts crying from frustration. Groom begins screening calls.

And this was all BEFORE you even received your beautiful invitation.

I cannot tell you how many friends and brides I work with that specifically address envelopes to certain family members and then have the guests RSVP with an additional +3. Or when it’s addressed to John Smith, and John writes, “we can’t wait to be there!” Everyone, please hear me when I say this: Your invitation was addressed to YOU. That means YOU are invited. Not you and friend, not you and boyfriend. YOU.

Do not call the bride or groom and ask if you can bring someone else unless you are a) married and not sure why your partner wasn’t invited or b) you’ve been dating the same person ever since you and engaged couple met and you aren’t sure why they weren’t invited.

Otherwise, you put the couple in a very awkward/emotional situation. They know whom they invited and whom they did not invite, trust me.

Now I understand how not getting a +1 can be REALLY annoying. No one wants to eat alone, travel alone, or stand by the wall because you don’t have a dance partner, but hopefully your friends wouldn’t put you in that situation and invited a lot of your friends as well (who also didn’t get a +1.) And while it used to be that if the wedding was a destination wedding, that everyone got a +1, now that’s not always the case because almost every wedding is a destination wedding for someone since most of us don’t still live in our hometowns with the same friends since birth.

So here is the take away message.

For the couples- Make a decision on “+1’s” and stick with it. Only married folks and really serious couples who have been together at least a year? Fine, but stick to that. No picking and choosing. And try to put yourself into your friend’s shoes. You will never make everyone happy, but try to be as fair as possible. Make sure those who do not get a plus one, have friends there too. Don’t purposely make people uncomfortable.

For the guests- whoever the envelope is addressed to, is who is invited. Kids/ the word family not on there? Then they aren’t invited. No “and guest?” Then you didn’t get one. I know it can suck, but remember that the guest list is their guest list and it probably took a LOT of time to make, brought about a lot of fights, and led to a lot of compromises. Do not put your friends in an awkward situation/add stress by saying you just have to bring someone. (If you are the MOH or something or are really close to the couple and feel it’s okay to ask, then take your chances; just don’t get upset if you don’t get your way.)

And remember that the couple wants you there- hence they invited you- but if the lack of a “+1” is a deal breaker to you, then you can always RSVP “no.”

there is no way this piece of paper weighs 140 pounds. (wednesday wisdom)

Paper terminology can be really confusing. The weight, how it's pressed, the types of paper... it can be really confusing. So let's break it down. Types of paper.

There are so many different types of paper- especially when you start talking about specialty papers (onion paper...rice paper... the list goes on and on)- but what people are most familiar with is bond, cover, and newsprint paper.

Bond paper is commonly used for computer paper, envelopes, office letterhead, etc. If you run it through your printer, more often than not this is what you are using. It's really thin, really smooth, and can vary in colors. Cover paper is commonly referred to as card stock.  It's thicker than bond, comes in all different colors, and if usually used for pamphlets, brochures, and anything else that needs to be just a little more durable than regular computer paper. Newsprint is exactly what it sounds like- it's what newspapers are printed on. You'll also find a lot of artists who sketch on newsprint because it's cheap and great for simple sketches. (I love the gray dirtiness of it and how cheap it is, but hate how it smudges.)

These days, invitations can be printed on just about anything- from paper, to wood, to cloth, but traditionally, wedding invitations are usually printed on a cotton fiber paper (as opposed to a tree based paper like bond.) Cotton fiber has a beautiful tactile quality, holds ink beautifully, and can be cut to just about any size or shape you can imagine. (Cotton fibers also stretch as oppose to rip, so cotton papers work very well with printing techniques like engraving or letterpress.)

So let's say you've picked cotton paper for your invitations. You think you're done, when you are then asked questions like whether you'd like cold or hot pressed or what weight paper you would like. Before you get frustrated and mutter "whatever looks best" let's look at an example. All of my invitations are created on 140 lb 100% cotton cold pressed paper. What a mouth full right? And what does it all mean?

Well you already know what cotton paper means- and being 100% cotton (sometimes called rag) simply means just that. 100% cotton. No tree fibers.

Now on the the cold pressed part. Simply put (unless you are a watercolor artist you don't really need to know all of the details) cold pressed paper is smooth(er) and hot pressed paper is rough(er.) If you would like to really see the difference I'd suggest you go to an art store and head to the watercolor section. There you can see and touch all of the different types of paper and really get a better feeling for what I'm talking about. (But that could just be helpful to me. I'm more of a visual person and retain a lot more if I can see and touch something as opposed to just reading about it. If you're not a visual person then "smooth or rough" is probably a good enough description.)

Lastly is the paper weight. The first time I heard that paper could be 140 lbs (high school maybe?), I just nodded and tried to act like that made sense to me (when in all actuality I couldn't wrap my mind around it.)

So I picked up the paper.

Well that was the first sign that it wasn't 140lbs. I couldn't lift 140lbs with one hand. (Hell, I doubt I could with two hands...even if I was "lifting from my legs.") So when I got home I googled it and now get to share the knowledge with you.

The weight of paper is determined by how much a ream (usually 500 sheets, though sometimes 1000 sheets) of the uncut paper weighed. In other words, 20lb bond paper means that 500 sheets of that specific paper weighs 20 lbs. 140lb paper means that 500 sheets on that specific paper weighs 140lbs. The higher the weight, the thicker and nicer the paper.

So there you go. You've passed Paper 101 :)

catching up

yum. s'mores.

happy Tuesday everyone! I am so sorry it has been so long. This past weekend was a busy one and I haven't had much time around the computer.

On Thursday we decided to take a mini vacation with just us two (and Bella of course) and went camping up in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Surprisingly (and fortunately) it wasn't too hot during the day and was actually cold at night. Not only did I get to practice my "cooking over an open fire" skills, but we finally had an opportunity to use our new tent!

Friday, after driving our tired selves home, we were informed that it was a friends birthday and we were all going to the Braves game that night to celebrate. For some reason I thought it was our friends 30th birthday, so when I saw him I asked how it was to hit the big 3-0. He told me he didn't want to talk about it, and was celebrating 29 this year. Please remember that I REALLY thought he was 30, so I made some joke about a "2nd 29th birthday." The guys couldn't stop laughing and I wasn't sure why. That is until one of them told me he really was only 29, but was having a really hard time "getting older." They had been making fun of him all day and just thought I was joining in.

Whoops.

Even so, the night was great. Not only did we win, but I also ran into a huge group of old college friends who were in town celebrating a buddy's wedding. I hadn't seem them in 3 years and was so thrilled to get to catch up and introduce the hubs. Funny thing is, half of them live within 15 minutes of us! Looks like a night out is in order.

Saturday my mom and one of her friends were in town so I got to have brunch with my sister and them, before heading back home to get some things together/do some work during the World Cup. That night J. and I decided to have a date night at Tap since it had been a really long weekend already and neither of us wanted to cook. (Side note. IF you are in Atlanta, hit up Tap. It has the best fried pickles- and for a non pickle eater, this is huge- and one of the best burgers ever. And mini milkshake to dip your fries in? Don't mind if I do.)

Sunday we went on a kayaking double date in North Georgia which rocked- except for the 30% chance of scattered storms. Apparently, 30% actually meant 100% and we ended up having to pull off the river twice due to lightning. Either way it was beautiful and a ton of fun. I'd definitely recommend it!

So see? I wasn't just ignoring the blog. Promise I have a lot to share with you. A new project, some more "wisdom" tomorrow, and really exciting news for the business that I can't tell you all for another 2 weeks. (boo. I hate secrets.) But until then... have a wonderful day!